LOVE not judge

Relationships

We seek to be accepted unconditionally while refusing to show the same courtesy to others.

Love is the absence of Judgement- The Dalai Lama

If asked we will all whole heartedly agree that all human beings are equally valuable. And yet almost all of us fall short of being able to unconditionally accept this truth in our daily lives.

We are dogged by JUDGEMENT!

Judgement based on color, creed, culture, behaviour, looks, dressing, money, job, address, ethnicity, accent, education, sex, and on and on it goes. The divisions are innumerable, in fact almost everything that is good and can unite us is a point of division based on judgement. We all feel the pinch of this judgement and divisiveness- everyday in fact. Whether it is from family, stranger, colleagues, superiors, yearly assessments, whether it’s our clothes, are with it, choice of spouse, children’s activities so on and so forth.

Then we have the public shaming- celebrities and people in the public eye are on a free for all platform- on social media we can say what we please without reproach. The language and insults exchanged and dished out are just horrifying. None of us would like to be at the receiving end, but hurling them gives us great power. Anything we don’t understand or agree with we judge!

We have created a world where every word and step in over analyzed. Many make a living through that- 24 hour media channels have no choice but to split every word a 1000 ways to fill in all the hours they are on. The conversations are all based on negative judgement, almost always. And this encourages the populous to join in the conversation- how should it be, why is it this way, how can it be better etc etc. And in wanting to seem intelligent, smart, informed and current we all add to that judgment based on our own limited experiences, education, culture and belief systems- a sure recipe for chaos as we can all see.

Isn’t it time to scale back? In fact it’s time to STOP!!!

I was personally terrified to launch this conversation for fear of judgement and putting myself in a vulnerable position. For fear of ridicule I have also kept a low profile as a healer and spiritual teacher and this is my “coming out”.

I have also decided to create a very simple space here with no embellishments, no big words, terms and marketing looks and tools- keeping it real. Doing things the way I understand them and not by virtue of any “rules”.

Well here I am eager to start this conversation that I know so many are having in their own right or are itching to begin, to making the world a harmonious and safe place to live in.

A platform of old-fashioned common-sense codes and universal principles that are the basis for happiness! I hope in 50 years when love will be a norm our future generations will thank us. We will leave a world in which everyone can thrive and bring to the universe their unique gifts while feeling supported. Hopefully we can develop behavior, character and fortitude that will mitigate trauma and suffering and create a world community of emotionally healthier people.

I invite you to join this conversation and lend your voice to bring respect, compassion, kindness, understanding, support, and LOVE to our fellow beings- human and otherwise. I invite you to be vulnerable and share your stories so we can highlight this as a pattern that cannot be ignored and propagated any longer. We need to turn the tide.

         Let’s all pledge to LOVE not judge!!!

Definition of Judgement : the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions.

Yet we use the term as an opinion instead to review, analyze, critique and criticize.

We are surrounded by news and information and we live in a world where every bit of that information is analyzed, critiqued and criticized. Judgement hurts everybody and most often we come to conclusion based on misinformation or incomplete information.

We all hate being judge, yet we judge all the way.

So why then do we judge?

The reasons are fairly easy to identify- either we’re $jealous because they have a position, status, relationship, abundance which we don’t have or when our desires and expectations aren’t met or because today more than ever it’s also just become a way of life, to complain and find fault.

The deeper reason for judging others is because we don’t actually accept ourselves and we can deflect the attention by putting it on others and calling them out. That gives us a sense of superiority and also helps avoid the healing and clearing process we need to do for ourselves.

Ego is the root cause of judgement.

First, the ego compares the self with others, then to feel better it puts them down to temporarily boost up the self. Then it starts to compete, trying to prove that it is better. “I would have never have done that…”

Then comes the criticism and condemnation- “Isn’t he/ she awful, they should have done it this way…”

Once we get to that stage we have lost all love for that person/ situation, we also lose our calm and a feeling of negativity and emptiness fills us.

Acceptance is the antidote to Judgement.

If we make it a habit to see ourselves in every situation then we will realize that another’s actions can be easily understood or overlooked. If we turn the tables and imagine ourselves in that situation our hearts get engaged and we begin to see the person through eyes of compassion and love. Even if we do not agree with the actions its becomes much easier to accept.

We must bear in mind that every story has 2 sides and unless we have heard both versions we will be making judgement based on incomplete information. It’s very possible the side we hear will have omitted their end of the blame and fault. So unless we have the complete story its best to give the benefit of the doubt or reserve ones opinion.

Everyone is doing the best given their circumstances and often times our actions fall short in spite of our best efforts and intentions. If we bear that in mind it helps to accept and not judge.

When we shift our thoughts from judging to accepting, not only others, but also ourselves, we can restore our happiness.                                    

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me!                            

                                      LOVE not judge pledge

•I will accept one and all as divine souls and not be bound by their skin color, sex, looks, financial status, ethnicity, religious affiliation, country of origin

•I accept that everyone has their own situations and reasons for why they do what they do and unless I can walk in those very shoes I have no right to judge their decisions.

•I will offer compassion and love to people hurting and in bad situations

•I will always be authentic and not worry about the opinion of others

•I will be a reflection of what I want to see in other

•I will use only polite language to communicate

•I will never seek revenge but understanding and forgiveness

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© Ajita Shah  2023
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