How often do you find yourself thinking- I’m not good enough or I can’t do it or I should be and do better? What causes us to have these negative thoughts and keep thinking them over and over again? It’s as if someone else is in charge of what we think. That ‘someone else’ is what we call the Ego.
What is the ego?
The ego is the “I.” It is how we see ourselves. It is the part of our mind that identifies with traits, beliefs, and habits.
Where does the ego come from?
As a child, we have no filters. We can play, imagine, and create. We are not yet tied to an identity of who we are or supposed to be. We are born unconditioned.
As we age, you were taught values around things like achievement, preferred emotional states, relationships, objects, ownership and so much more. It creates an identity for us to cope with any confusion, disconnection, and loss of love that you may have experienced.
The ego is the part of us that is always self-conscious and wants to be in control. It comes from a place within that is totally absorbed with our safety, reputation, personal interest, and survival. This can lead to us being out of harmony and full of distress.
Many adults have not evolved past the ego-centric state. They still believe things are happening to them. If we believe we have no control in our life, or that outside events are controlling our life then the most important point to understand is that this is not actually YOU. If we want to enjoy the unfolding of life, we can’t let the ego dictate us. The ego is the exact force that gets in the way of us experiencing a balanced, meaningful, and significant life.
We need to be courageous if we want to allow our authentic self to shine through. We need to allow ourselves to question what we believe about our deeper sense of self. When we allow this to happen we gradually begin to trust that there’s something incredibly loving and intelligent behind everything.
How to overcome the ego
Focus on forgiveness – Holding onto grudges and feeling like a victim is the quickest way to give your power away. Letting go, forgiving others and more importantly yourself, will squelch the ego.
Be in the present – The ego has a hard time staying content in the moment. Be careful not to get stuck ruminating on the past or worrying about the future.
Align with a higher power – Self-transcendence is a major facet of overcoming the ego. With an authentic spiritual relationship comes a shift from focusing on the self to focusing on others, and ultimately to focusing on the world at large.
Focus on courage instead of fear – Don’t let the ego scare you out of following your heart and living from your purpose. Uncertainty scares the ego and sends signals that whatever change or idea is being considered is “bad.” Stay in faith and be courageous in the face of fear. When we are able to dis-identify with the ego, we can alleviate much unnecessary suffering. Our responses and interpretations will no longer be driven by the anxiety, fear, and shame that the ego communicates. You can begin making decisions from the higher-self.
Practicing loving unconditionally – When you are able to love someone or something beyond what’s in it for you, the ego has been transcended. Show love unconditionally to all, and stop asking, “What’s in it for me?”
It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do – anyone can learn to dis-identify from their idea of who they think they are. What matters is that you trust that this is possible. It’s a Knowing – not a thought, or a belief, or a religion. It’s a way of living from your deepest self and thriving.
If you are plagued with doubt and “what can’t be” seems to be running your life then let’s chat.